Cappelli may get away without paying water bill
My moaning and groaning means nothing. In the end, I'll hold my nose and pay the bill, even though it amounts to a holdup. This is where Lou and I part company. See, he's serious. Lou's really refusing to pay. And from the look of all those sweet deals he's been squeezing out of elected officials to carpet Westchester County with strikingly bland skyscrapers, it's a better than even bet that somehow he'll get his way. That's because he's a rich guy. Rich guys don't get rich by spending their own money. It's other people's money that pays the freight in this world.
Before I get to Lou's situation, let me first explain my water bill because you're probably wondering how it is that I owe so much money. Sixteen hundred bucks - how's that possible?
Write this down: In Yonkers, anything is possible. It's Reisman's Law.
And nothing ever just "happens." To understand why stupid things occur in Yonkers, you have to climb into the Wayback Machine and find the root cause. Flip the dial to 1995. That's when the cash-strapped city fathers had the bright idea of doing away with water meter readers as a budget-cutting measure. They decided to rely instead on estimated water usage, which turned out to be a mistake because it resulted in lost revenue. Duh, no kidding! What to do? Somebody got another bright idea. The city made a deal with Con Edison, the fine people who put the grr in "grid" whenever a mighty wind blows and the lights go out. The deal was this: Con Ed agreed to have its electric-meter readers also read the municipal water meters for a fee of $1 per meter. But for some reason, Con Ed didn't do the job. Duh, no kidding! What to do?
Ding! That's correct, still another bright idea was hatched. The city reverted to the estimated usage plan. At the same time, it relied on water consumers to read their own meters, record the data on blue cards and send them into the Bureau of Water. The bureau would, in turn, analyze the numbers and then mail back accurate bills. This worked, sort of. The problem was that the city failed to send out the blue cards to everybody on a consistent basis. Duh, no kidding! What to do?
Well, around 2003, the city resumed meter reading and that meant a slow, laborious process of catching up to some 35,000 meters citywide, many of which had not been checked in nearly a decade. People who had been paying relatively low water bills semiannually (and were unaware of the botched efforts to collect the proper amounts) found themselves slapped overnight with crushing demands for overdue payments running into the hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.
They're still catching up. They caught up to me only a month ago. For a long time, I had been paying about $70 a year. Now the real bill is due for all that lost time - $1,600. To make sure it wasn't a mistake, I had the city come to my house yesterday and recheck the meter. It wasn't a mistake.
Here's a side note: Also yesterday, three water department employees were arraigned on charges of bilking the city out of tens of thousands of dollars in an overtime padding scheme. That's Yonkers-style irony for you. (Again, I refer you to Reisman's Law.)
Yonkers Deputy Mayor Bill Regan told me the other day that people getting these mortgage-sized water bills can choose to pay in monthly installments over the course of a year, at no interest. One way or another, the bills will be collected. There's no statute of limitations on municipal incompetence. "It's very aggravating to people. I know it is," Regan said.
He added that the city might install a remote meter-reading system in which meters can be quickly scanned from the street. Requests for proposals have been issued. Now back to Lou Cappelli. His $2.47 million bill from United Water New Rochelle isn't about water usage per se. It's the bill he owes for the cleaning and relining of a 16-inch main and the installation of a new 12-inch main - all for the purpose of helping to pump water into his 450-foot tall condominium tower called Trump Plaza, which was named after his bosom buddy, You-know-who.
Cappelli thinks this is an outrage. His senior vice president, Joe Apicella, told The Journal News last week that there's no way they'll pay that amount. He said $87,000 was enough. According to my calculator, that's about 3.5 percent of the total bill. Putting it another way, if I got off the hook for 3.5 percent in Yonkers, my bill would only be $56. The outcome of this dispute between Cappelli and United Water is yet to be determined. But you have to believe that someone's going to pay for those new pipes in New Rochelle and if it's not Lou, then it'll be everybody else.
Oh, yes. By the way. Cappelli is coming to Yonkers, where he wants to transform the city's downtown into more towers of power. So hold onto your wallets and take a second look at your water meter.
By Phil Reismann, The Journal News


